Fitness and Health
How to Negotiate a Job Offer: Exact Scripts for Women Who Hate Asking
Should you negotiate a job offer? Yes. Most people don't, and most people who do get something. Pew found that among workers who asked for more pay when hired, 66% got more than the first offer. The worst common outcome is that they say no and you keep the original offer. You will not get what you don't ask for. Here is exactly how to do it.
The numbers
Pew Research Center surveyed US workers about their last hiring: [1]
- Most did not ask for higher pay. Men were slightly more likely than women to ask (32% vs 28%).
- Of those who asked, 28% got what they asked for, 38% got more than the first offer but less than they asked, and 35% got only the first offer.
- Women who asked were more likely than men to get only the first offer (38% vs 31%).
- Of those who didn't ask, women were more likely to say they didn't feel comfortable asking (42% vs 33%).
Harvard's Program on Negotiation, in a July 20, 2026 summary, notes newer research where women with MBAs ask as often as or more than men, yet the pay gap persists, pointing to career paths, promotions, and workplace structures, not just whether women ask. [2]
Translation: asking works more often than not. It is not a fix for everything, so ask well.
Before you negotiate (original checklist)
- Know your number. Look up pay ranges for the role and city. Many job posts now list ranges.
- Know your walk-away. The lowest offer you would accept.
- List three reasons you are worth more: skills, results, scarce experience.
- Think beyond salary: signing bonus, start date, remote days, title, training budget, extra vacation.
The script (original)
1. Thank and show excitement. "Thank you so much. I'm really excited about this role and the team."
2. Ask for time if you need it. "Can I take until Friday to review the full offer?"
3. Make the ask. "Based on my experience leading [X] and the market range for this role, I was expecting a base closer to [$Y]. Is there flexibility there?"
4. Stop talking. Silence is fine. Let them respond.
5. If they say the base is fixed: "I understand. Is there flexibility on a signing bonus, extra vacation days, or a salary review at six months?"
6. Close. "If we can get to [$Y], I'm ready to accept today."
Phrases to cut
- "I'm sorry to ask..."
- "I know this might be a lot..."
- "I just think maybe..."
Say the number. Plainly.
Do it by phone or video if you can
Email is fine, but a quick call lets you read reactions and sounds more confident. Follow up by email with what you agreed.
Common fears, answered
"They'll pull the offer." Rare when you are polite and reasonable. Companies expect negotiation.
"I'll look greedy." You'll look like someone who knows her value. That's who they hired.
"I don't have a competing offer." You don't need one. Market data and your skills are enough.
If you got less than you asked
That is normal. Pew found 38% of askers landed in the middle. [1] Take the win, then:
- Ask for a written six-month pay review
- Track your wins from day one for that review
The cost of not asking
A lower starting salary compounds. Raises are often a percentage of your base, so every future raise starts lower. A few thousand now can mean much more over a career.
Quick answers
Should I give a number first? If they ask, give a range with the bottom at your target, not your minimum.
Can I negotiate an internal promotion? Yes. Same steps.
What if the recruiter says "this is our best offer"? Ask about non-salary items. Then decide.
The bottom line
Most people don't negotiate, and most who do get more. Know your number, thank them, ask clearly, stop talking, and have a backup ask ready. Discomfort lasts five minutes; the pay difference lasts years.