Are We Dating the Same Guy Groups Are Shutting Down: Should You Still Post Him, What the 2026 Court Ruling Means, and Safer Ways to Check a Man Before You Meet

Is Are We Dating the Same Guy shut down? Mostly, yes, but not all the way. In September 2026 the founder of the biggest network of these Facebook groups told members she was shutting down all of her groups. Many of them stopped taking new posts, but old posts stayed up, and plenty of other groups with the same name kept going. So the posts did not vanish, and the question every woman now faces is simple. Do you still post a man to find out about him, or is there a better way?

Our blunt answer: you can check a man well without posting him anywhere, and in most cases that is the smarter move.

Short answer

The big network is winding down. Its founder posted in September 2026 that she would shut down all of her groups. Most stopped new posts. Old posts were not wiped.
Many groups are still running. A company that tracks the groups for men said on October 28, 2026 that it still found active groups in 30 US states plus Washington DC, Toronto, and several UK cities.
A May 2026 appeals ruling backed a woman who posted. A federal appeals court threw out a man's lawsuit against a woman who posted about her bad date with him, because what she wrote was her opinion plus a real text he sent.
Posting still has real risks for you. Screenshots leak, men find out, and some women said the man reacted with anger or threats.
You can do most of the checking yourself. A reverse image search, the national sex offender site, a video call, and a few free searches cover the biggest risks.

What happened to the groups (September and October 2026)

Early warning signs. A Cleveland TV station reported that the local group paused posting in March 2026 and reopened in June with stricter rules. On September 3, the founder wrote that she could not promise the group would "still be here tomorrow."
The shutdown post. Later in September the founder wrote in the groups, "Due to recent issues, I have decided to shut down all of our groups," and said she would explain later. The Cleveland station reported on September 30, 2026 that she had not yet given the reasons in public.
What the network says about itself. Its website says it has over 10 million women in more than 250 cities, that Apple and Facebook removed its groups without warning, and that it wants to launch a web version of the platform. No such site had launched by late October.
Paused, not deleted. A post at the end of October that shared an Atlanta moderator's notice said the founder was quitting but not deleting the groups, and that new posts would stay blocked for good. Comments still seemed to work.
Tea changed at the same time. In early October, women noticed that both these groups and the Tea app had stopped letting them post about men at about the same time. Our guide to the Tea app covers what happened to Tea next.

New research and court news (May to October 2026)

The appeals court ruling (May 15, 2026)

A Chicago man sued a woman he had dated briefly, her parents, the people who ran the Chicago group, and Facebook's parent company over posts about him. The woman had written about her bad experience and posted a screenshot of a vile text he sent her from a second number after she blocked him.

The federal appeals court in Chicago threw out the case. Key points from the ruling:

Her other statements were opinion, which the law protects, and he never claimed that anything she said was false.
She did not share his phone number or call on anyone to contact him, his family, or his job. The court said none of her posts had "a call to action."
He never said he was actually stalked or hurt because of the posts.
The court also said that nothing can really stop claims posted in these groups from spreading elsewhere.

His lawyers' brief had fake quotes that the court said looked like misuse of AI. In a July 21, 2026 order, the court made the man, his lawyer, and the law firm pay the woman's family $7,997.60 and fined the lawyer $5,000.

What this means for you: the ruling protected a woman who stuck to her own experience and real screenshots, with no doxing and no call to action. It does not mean anything goes. Claiming a crime you cannot back up, or posting his number or his boss's name, is a very different case.

What women worry about before a date (October 2026)

A survey of 3,007 UK singles, published on a Match Group site in October 2026, found that 67% of women worry about their safety before a first date, compared with 31% of men. 41% of women have felt unsafe meeting someone new, and women take about three safety steps before a date with someone from an app. That is the need these groups were filling, and it has not gone away.

Should you still post him?

Here is the honest trade off.

What posting can do for you:

Other women may tell you about a pattern you could never find alone, like a married man or a man who keeps pushing past a no.
It can make you feel less alone after a bad date.

What it can cost you:

He may find out. The groups ban screenshots, but members share them anyway. Many men learn they were posted from a coworker, a friend, or an ex.
You may get bad information. Anyone can post, including a bitter ex. One post is a lead, not proof.
It can end a good thing. Some men see being posted as a deep betrayal, even when nothing bad was said.
Your words matter legally. Your own experience and real screenshots are far safer than repeating a crime you heard about secondhand.

Our take: post only when you have a real safety reason, like he scared you or you think he is hiding a wife. Never post a man just because he is slow to text or will not define the relationship. Ask him.

What people who tried it say

These are real posts from 2026, summed up:

A 26 year old woman posted the man she was seeing, with only his name, age, and two photos, because he kept shutting down hard talks. Nobody replied, but someone told him anyway. In June 2026 she wrote that he "jokingly" said he was going to hurt her. In July she added that he had lost his temper and said he would block her everywhere, and that weeks later he told her he needed space. She deleted the post and said she had learned her lesson.
A woman who was ghosted after a first date from Hinge in February 2026 felt awful until she found a post about him in one of these groups. It showed that ghosting after the first date was his usual move with women, and she was far from the first.
A woman three dates in with a man she liked looked him up after her local group reopened in June 2026. She found a post from December 2024 where about five women said he was pushy with boundaries and had exposed himself to some of them. He had seemed normal with her, and she did not know whether to end it.
A woman in April 2026 said her boyfriend's ex kept posting him as if they were still together, to fish for who he was dating now. She saw the groups being used to stalk, not to stay safe.
One woman in May 2026 shared a 30 minute check she does before each first date: tagged photos on Instagram, LinkedIn under his real name, a reverse image search, and a search of his first name plus city. She said the reverse image search was the only step that gave a clear yes or no.
Another woman in September 2026 said a match wore the same shirt in every photo and some looked AI made. She now checks every photo, runs reverse image searches, and asks for a video call two or three days into the chat.
On the men's side, a man said a woman he had been seeing for three weeks told him on date four that she paid $40 for a background check before date two. She knew his brother's business and his old addresses. He knew women face real risks, but he still felt violated.

Safer ways to check him without posting him anywhere

Reverse image search two of his photos. Use Google Lens or TinEye. This catches stolen and stock photos fast.
Search the national sex offender site. The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website at nsopw.gov is run with the US Justice Department and searches every state registry for free.
Look at his tagged photos, not just his own. Photos friends tag him in are harder to fake. Look for a wedding ring or the same woman in years of photos.
Search his name with your county's court records. Many counties let you search cases for free. Look for protective orders, not just crimes.
Do a short video call. Two minutes shows he is real and matches his photos.
Ask one friend who lives in your area. A private text to a few friends often gets you the same warning a group would, without broadcasting his face.
Meet in public and tell someone. Share your plans and live location with a friend for the first few dates.

Lesser-known tips

There is a positive version. Some places have "I'd vouch for him" groups where women post men they know well, like brothers and friends, as good dating picks. A vouch from someone who knows him tells you more than a stranger's warning.
Search before you get attached. It is much easier to walk away after a bad search result on day two than after date five.
Do not tell him what you found unless you need to. Pulling up his brother's job on date four can scare off a good man. If a search turns up something serious, you can just leave.
A paused group still holds its old posts. If your local group stopped new posts, what was already posted can still be read by members.
Paid background check sites are hit or miss. They can mix up people with the same name and can show outdated addresses. Treat them as a lead and check the court record yourself.
Men can pay to remove posts. At least one company advertises AWDTSG searches for men at $299.99 and removal at $2,999.99 a post. So a post you are relying on may not be there next month.

Fair take

What these groups got right:

They warned women about real predators and scammers, and the network says some posts helped police cases.
They gave women a place to compare notes that apps never did.

What they got wrong:

Anyone could post anything, and one bitter ex could wreck a man's name with no way for him to answer.
Screenshots leaked all the time, which put the women who posted at risk too.
They made some women feel safe without checking anything real.

Bottom line

The Are We Dating the Same Guy era is fading, but your need to check a man is not. You do not have to post his face to a crowd of strangers to stay safe. A reverse image search, the sex offender site, a court record search, a video call, and a text to friends who live nearby will catch most real dangers. Save a public post for real safety problems, stick to what happened to you, and never share his number, his job, or a crime you cannot back up. And if you want to know how your own photos come across before you meet anyone new, The Face They See lets people of the opposite gender rank your photos for free.

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